*puts one hand in the air*
That would be me.
*put up other hand*
And my husband.
It's been an interesting few weeks, we've been delving into 'causes' of our weight gain, and looking at our lives and the things that have caused our bodies to gain weight. A lot of the recent weight changes is just 'coping' with the changes in our lives due to have a child with special needs, and the personal guilt, anger, disappointment, resentment and so on through to the point of being 'ok' with it and continuing on with living in a good frame of mind rather than a guilty one.
So with all of that we have been looking at Daniel and what 'could' have caused his weight gain. We went back through the family photos and discovered that when he was in grade one, he was skinny as.. then from around the middle of grade two onwards he started to bulk up.
When we looked at the photos we realised a catalyst for him in his life has been his grade 2 teacher... she used to yell at the students and he would come home around once every 6weeks saying that she was shouting. At the time we didn't think a great deal of it, and tried to tell him perhaps the kids where being naughty. Wether it was that simple or not, it had a massive effect on him. So much so that when he started grade 3 he was so amazingly scared of going to school, we talked it through and we thought it was dealt with and we all moved on...
This year, with looking back at his life in photos, and talking to him about it we realised how much bigger this was for him. Then Sarah started saying that her teacher yelled at the kids and they would all get scared. Mommy Bear awoke at this point raised her head and decided to take it straight to the authorities... the school principal.
The night before I met with the principal I was talking with my Mother-in-Law about life and talked about this latest realisation we had. In discussion she talked about the chances are that Jono has also had a large impact on Daniel and told me about the times Daniel wasn't coping and would clench his fists in anger about things that jono was doing... At the time I was not able to see what was happening with him and I wasn't even aware of this going on. I've since seen it and talked with him about it.
So... in the principal's office we discussed the grade 2 teacher, the challenges of having a special needs child for us as a family and the difficulities that could be there for Daniel. She said that the school was going to have a counsellor once a week to the school to help children with things like this and would I like Daniel in the program. Half of me said yes, and half of me said 'what am I doing?'. Regardless, I booked him in. The counsellor was due in 2 days after I saw the principal... talk abut timing.
That night at dinner we talked with Daniel that he could have this person to talk to about 'anything', about his teachers, about his family life, about Mummy getting sad, about Daddy getting frustrated, about him getting frustrated, everything was open for him to talk about, and that this person can give him ideas and suggestions to help him out both at school and at home.
He was really interested to understand all about the counsellor and wanted to know everything I talked about with the principal. A few days later he had his first session. When he got home we asked him how it all went. He enjoyed it and was really happy to go, so much so that he asked to go again the next day. I don't know how much he really got to discuss that first day, or if he's just excited to be missing out on school, but I'm happy he's happy with it, and that he has an outlet and an option for him.
We all need support, and sometimes it turns up in unexpected ways.