Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mothers Day! (did you bring a tissue?)

For all the Mums, New Mums, Older Mums, Multiple Mums, Adoptive Mums, Mums-to-be, Grandmums, and just the nice lady that all the kids call Mum... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

It's 6:30am here, and I'm the first one awake, I've grabbed my laptop and headed downstairs, it's quiet, the birds are in the backyard on the trampoline, the sun is just getting over the hills and the birdsong is ringing in my ears. I have a cuppa, a water, and am keen to get into my home gym and move my muscles. My children all wanted to sleep together last night so I have 3 kids in the one bedroom, mattresses on the floor and general chaos... they love it.

Yesterday I thought of getting gifts for my children to thank them for making me a mum, for it really has given me so much to be a Mum...to do a reverse Mothers' Day, I ran out of time but the sentiment is there, perhaps this post is my gift :)

My life before kids was a world of difference to what it is now. I have 3 children, which is enough a challenge in it's own right. I had then close together, around 22 months apart, so my oldest was five when the youngest was born, when you are at home, with no car and no friends nearby... this is also a challenge. My second child is Autistic, and yes of course this is a challenge.

Being a mother of a special needs child is definitely a greater challenge, as the 'book' really doesn't have much information covering these type of situations. The needs that occour are different and the ways to handle them depend a lot on how you are within yourself. Are the rewards greater? You know what, Im going to say not really... it's just that you become better tuned at looking for them, and you celebrate the smaller things with more intensity than what perhaps you usually would.

I still remember when Jono was first able to feed himself by himself with a spoon. No, he wasn't holding it right, no it wasn't tidy, but by joves he could do it, he was around 3.

I remember him getting on the internet and downloading and installing games on to the computer, without help, when he couldn't read, and couldn't talk enough to ask us for help, he was 5. We were amazed about this for years.

I remember the first time he came home from school with a piece of paper with his name written on it, it was crude, it wasn't all the letter, but it was his, he would have been 6. Just this year he chose a pair of sneakers to wear on his feet rather than sandals all year long, the confining space on his feet didn't worry him as much, he's now 8.

I've had more than one person comment lately how well I do with Jono, my level of patience, the way I handle him, the way I comfort him. I thank them for the comments, but that has been 5 years in the making. The person I was when I found out about his condition, is a completely different person to the one I am today... and I am grateful.

I am grateful for the lessons to my own heart about what it means to be a Mum, to any child. I am grateful to have Jono in our family, and that we have all 'had' to learn to be more patient with each other. I am grateful for all my children, and I hope they never feel like we 'play' favourites, but that we are treating each one as individuals. I am grateful for my husband, and for his family with their unity and the complete acceptance and love they have for us. I am grateful for my family, my Mother and my brother and the amazing childhood and great childhood memories I have with them.

And I am grateful for my Mum, and the positive heart she always taught me to have, the acceptance of my self and the 'healthy ego', to do more, to try more, to be different and to not be afraid of it. I so hope I can impart that on my children.

So, Happy Mothers Day, to all Mums! May you celebrate your motherhood, in all it's 'glory' and be a better person because of it.

I have to share this, I found it this morning and it's just inspired me so much, I feel it's relevant to every child, to have a mother with this kind of heart, and if you aren't that mother yet, give your children time, they are working on it :)

A PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL SON

A little boy was feeling sad. He had been born with a disability that made him walk, talk, and move differently from other children. The little boy was sad because some of the kids in the neighborhood had been making fun of him. His mother took him by the hand and led him to the full-length mirror she kept in her bedroom.

“I’m crippled and useless. The kids say I am.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son.”

“Mommy, how can you say that when you know how I look?”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. You look like your daddy. You’re lucky, my pet. He’s handsome and strong. Can’t you see? You belong. Be proud, my beautiful son.”

“My feet drag on the ground. I fall down all the time.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. And when you fall down, you get right back up. You’ve never stayed down and I know you won’t now. Get up, my beautiful son.” ... continues


You can read the rest here, at the Baltimore Family Examiner.

2 comments:

  1. Dear Karen,
    My princess has ADD, dysgraphia & Irlen Syndrome. She is smart talented and beautiful on top of it all. :) I understand to a small degree what you have gone through as a Mama. Trying to get a diagnosis and not be treated like a lunatic by a Dr. is the most difficult part of it all. Once you know what is going on with your punkin then you can do your homework and begin to truly parent rather than putting on bandaids. Cheers to all of us who need to nurture a bit more than the norm, fight a lot harder than is expected and deeply appreciate each victory our child has.
    Hugs,
    Lonnie

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  2. Thanks for your comments Lonnie. I love the attitude you have towards your daughter, and the way you talk about her. You are one of the people who I would say is a better person for being a Mother.

    I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.
    Karen

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