Last Sunday at Church, he needed to go to the toilet before church started. Nothing unusual in this, he knows where the toilets are, he can toilet himself quite well now... so off he goes.
A few minutes later the cries of frustration start ringing out... so I head in to see whats wrong. He's standing at the bowl, but nothing is coming out... I'm not sure if he has allready done anything, but he is very distressed.
I went and got hubby to see if he could encourage him to go... a few minutes later I head back and nothing has still happened, and he is still standing there frustrated. Daddy has to do some things, so he heads out.
30 minutes later of sitting on the toilet floor next to my distressed crying son, I am thinking to myself... why do I bother going out, why bother trying to get to church, if I spend the time in the toilet there is no point in coming... WHY is my son Autistic?!?!?
There are moments of clarity I get about our situation. I've heard Autism called 'and invisible disability'... and they are right... I can't 'see' anything wrong with this child... yet there is so much 'wrong'. The brain synapses don't connect in the usual fashion, the world around him is a foreign and sometimes scary place, seemingly simple things can get out of control easily. Yet it is no-one's 'fault' not his, not ours.
It just is.
And yet, it is not the sole controlling factor of our lives... and I should not let it be in that place, even if on some days it seems as though it is.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Birthday Jumping Castle (sisters)
Well... his sister turned 4, and we finally had the Jumping Castle Party we have been talking about for 6 months.
*Note: Jumping, outdoors, trampolines, all these kind of things he just LOVES*
When the castle turned up, Daniel and Sarah where fascinated, watched every second, where almost on the castle before it finished inflating, and squealing with joy about every small thing that happened while the pump was going.
Jonathan looked at it and cried.
Then he squirmed to get out of Daddy's arms, ran inside and closed every door possible between him and that 'thing'.
We let him calm down, then I took him out and forced him on and made him do a few jumps (squirming and crying the whole way.) I let him go and he hightailed it indoors again, closing all the doors on the way... so I took him up for a bath.
After some water play and calming down, Daddy took him on... and then we couldn't get him off.
New things are scary for most of us... and the fear can often overtake to the point of the irrational (he's never closed so many doors in such quick succession) but I'm very proud of him for facing it, overcoming it and loving it... we are thinking of getting him one for his party next year now :)
*Note: Jumping, outdoors, trampolines, all these kind of things he just LOVES*
When the castle turned up, Daniel and Sarah where fascinated, watched every second, where almost on the castle before it finished inflating, and squealing with joy about every small thing that happened while the pump was going.
Jonathan looked at it and cried.
Then he squirmed to get out of Daddy's arms, ran inside and closed every door possible between him and that 'thing'.
We let him calm down, then I took him out and forced him on and made him do a few jumps (squirming and crying the whole way.) I let him go and he hightailed it indoors again, closing all the doors on the way... so I took him up for a bath.
After some water play and calming down, Daddy took him on... and then we couldn't get him off.
New things are scary for most of us... and the fear can often overtake to the point of the irrational (he's never closed so many doors in such quick succession) but I'm very proud of him for facing it, overcoming it and loving it... we are thinking of getting him one for his party next year now :)
Friday, September 1, 2006
Sleeptime Troubles
I don't know how many of you have troubles with getting your kids to get to sleep in the evenings.
As far as I know, most Autistic people either go to bed really late, or get up in the middle of the night and do stuff - just restlessness... I'm not quite sure why.
Jono used to have dance parties in his room from around 1am to 3am, in the house we are in now we have wooden floorboards.. so that makes things very interesting of itself... we also put a lock on the outside of his door, for safety. If he was up at 3, and went into the kitchen and accidentally put the stove or oven on, our house wouldn't burn down.
Anyways... he's grown out of the dance parties now, and just has trouble getting to sleep, most nights he doesn't crash till around 10pm or so, even tho he gets put in bed 7:30 ish. He's usually up around 7:30 am... so I really don't know how he is coping on so little sleep for his age.
Tonight, he got put in bed at the usual time... I checked on all the kids about 20 min later and both his brother and sister were snoring, but he was still pacing in his room. My hubby and I settled in to watch a movie, and when the movie finished I went up to check on the kids. Jono was not in his bed.. nor in his room... this was very unusual, so I started searching.
I didn't have to look far.. his brother was on a mattress on the floor tonight, and I found Jono on his brothers bed... and as his brother and sister share a room it was very sweet to see all 3 in the one room... awwwwww shucks :)
Now just to get him to actually get to sleep a little earlier ;)
As far as I know, most Autistic people either go to bed really late, or get up in the middle of the night and do stuff - just restlessness... I'm not quite sure why.
Jono used to have dance parties in his room from around 1am to 3am, in the house we are in now we have wooden floorboards.. so that makes things very interesting of itself... we also put a lock on the outside of his door, for safety. If he was up at 3, and went into the kitchen and accidentally put the stove or oven on, our house wouldn't burn down.
Anyways... he's grown out of the dance parties now, and just has trouble getting to sleep, most nights he doesn't crash till around 10pm or so, even tho he gets put in bed 7:30 ish. He's usually up around 7:30 am... so I really don't know how he is coping on so little sleep for his age.
Tonight, he got put in bed at the usual time... I checked on all the kids about 20 min later and both his brother and sister were snoring, but he was still pacing in his room. My hubby and I settled in to watch a movie, and when the movie finished I went up to check on the kids. Jono was not in his bed.. nor in his room... this was very unusual, so I started searching.
I didn't have to look far.. his brother was on a mattress on the floor tonight, and I found Jono on his brothers bed... and as his brother and sister share a room it was very sweet to see all 3 in the one room... awwwwww shucks :)
Now just to get him to actually get to sleep a little earlier ;)
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